A New Year of Homeschool

 Big year just went by and I am finding myself in a period of crazy, chaotic cheer.
We had our fourth boy, Joshua who is now 7 months and he is the most perfect roly poly cabbage patch baby I ever saw. Seriously, if you google 'the perfect chubster babe' I think his picture would come up. I just want to squeeze those thighs and kiss that sweet double chin every second. Which is convenient because he is going through a stage where he is committed to being in my arms at all times while simultaneously destroying whatever he can reach. So that's fun.
Johnny is two and half and at that special age where he is the cutest and most deadly thing ever. Seriously, the worst of all evils in this house is messy bodily functions (ewwww) and he has even committed that deadly deed of playing in poo and we are still obsessed with him. We just can't get over this kid. HE'S ADORABLE. He's sweet sometimes too!
He'll wrap those little hands around your neck and whisper things like, "I love you mommy", "I'm proud of you", "best friends mommy", "best hugs"...  Even his big brothers can't seem to get angry with him. I want to teach him boundaries but they just want to shower him with love and lollipops. Ah well. At least we err on the side
of love.
Speaking of those big bros, Markie is 9-almost 10 and in FOURTH GRADE. The kid is brilliant and is
practically teaching ME math. (Who am I kidding, he IS teaching me new ways to do math, his number sense has surpassed mine) But more importantly than book smart, he is so emotionally intelligent. He is gentle and affirming and full of grace. And he learns so quickly! He takes all the things Mark and I say to him and around him and actually IMPLEMENTS them! And we all know PRACTICING emotional intelligence is the hardest step! Plus, he is the biggest bubba in this house and he wears that title well. He doesn't bully and his bossing is improving. He is working on communicating assertively and clearly. And he is a great conversationalist if you've had a bad day. He's full of hugs and love and support. He's wise enough to pick up the best traits from Mark and I and he surpasses us. I'm excited to continue learning from him for the rest of my life.

Topher is 7-almost 8 and in second grade. SECOND GRADE. My little Tigger pet is growing up into a real boy. And boy he is growing up so well. He has had such success in learning self control and he is so proud and encouraged by that. He believes he can improve and so he is always willing to try. I LOVE THAT. And he is a giver of Joy. This kid gets so excited about EVERYTHING! He reminds us each Thursday that it is 'Friday Eve' and every Friday that the 'freakin weeken' is here! His excitement is contagious. We have become a family that celebrates EVERYTHING and he is the leader in being truly excited.
I also love how he speaks his heart in such refreshing and ...at times, gentle ways. But either way, he always brings me joy in the way he thinks.
 Yesterday, during math lesson, we were learning three digit addition with regrouping. The concept of 10 tens regrouping into 1 hundred was kinda throwing him. So he said so sincerely, "Mom I don't know what to do. The sound of your voice is really hurting my head. I don't know what's wrong."

"Hmmm...." I wondered out loud, "when did noise start bothering you?"
"It's not noise. It's just when YOU talk."
Ok. Well that is weird and I wished I had a tape recorder on because this feels sitcom worthy.
Markie looked up, eyebrows raised with a expression that asked "Where is this gonna lead?"
"Is it always when I talk?" I asked, thinking I need to record my voice to get to the bottom of what exactly is a head hurting quality about it.
"Not always, but it happened last time when you were talking about quarter times in clocks." Topher said.
I tried not to smile, "Oh! So is it only when I talk about new math stuff?"
"Yes."

"I think that is just the feeling of learning new things. I feel that way when I try to learn how to give up expectations and take my own responsibility. But remember how Daddy says learning can feel uncomfortable but it is worth it? I believe that is true. Learning helps us have a better life. Thanks for telling me your head hurts. Your head used to hurt when we talked about regrouping to make tens and now that is easy! Regrouping to make hundreds is similar and I know you can get to a point where this is easy too, if you try. I'll try to remember to speak low and gentle whenever we are practicing new things!"
I just love his transparency and sincere heart. I want to teach him to be more graceful and tactful but I don't want to lose any of that authenticity that pours out of him. It's a tall order. But I'm a tall order kinda gal. Keeps me busy. Speaking of busy....

 Yes. I am still homeschooling.

 Strange, right. I started this journey to allow us to tour with my husband's band and the touring has stopped but the homeschool hasn't.

I just love it. It sounds crazy and believe me, I've had my moments finding my groove this year, where I thought for sure I was crazy. But it blesses our family. I mean, I truly enjoy my kids and sometimes it seems that is a rare occurrence in our current society. 

 Another rare thing, My kids currently enjoy learning. 

Hartman = Smartman. We are cultivating a lifestyle of LEARNING. What an empowering tool. You are never too old to learn, by the way. You can learn to be more grateful, curb your tongue, control your temper as well as learn how the clouds predict the weather or the proper grammar rules.

  (Side note - Did I mention fourth grade grammar is crazy? I'm still not sure what past and present participles are for, although I now know the basic idea of how to use them, like is doing or has done)
 In our home, we are all learners, Mark & I are just the guides, choosing the path we believe most effective and beneficial. But we are all learners.

 This unity creates a bond that I have always dreamed about. My family is loving, affectionate, affirming and open.  It's safe to be honest here. It's safe to mess up. It's safe to try again. We believe in each other. For example, I'm working on being more gentle. But when I am harsh, I can apologize and my family forgives me. And they still think I'm pretty awesome. That love inspires me to do better. And I see that same inspiration in my husband and children, I believe they want to try their best. I respect that.

 But my most favorite thing about homeschool is that we have more time together to create the emotionally intelligent skills we long for, like healthy conflict resolution, safe communication skills, assertive communication, intentional behavior and intentional choices (in a world of "he made me ... My kids need to learn this at home)

 I don't want to mislead you that life is perfect. It's not, it's just better than it's ever been, but not completely free from yuckies. Do we fight? Yeah we do. We wake up grumpy. We spill things and feel frustration. We wish life didn't involve so much cleaning and so many chores. We invade each other's personal space. We feel disrespected and angry. We have trouble sharing. We misunderstand things and get our feelings hurt. 

Life is not just beautiful sunrises and butterflies dancing through our yard, although we celebrate those moments when it is. 

And when it isn't, we recover. 

When we feel yucky, we practice our emotional intelligence skills. "I'm feeling _____ (grumpy, frustrated, scared, angry, sad, tired, overwhelmed).

 I need ____ (extra hugs, patience, grace, 30 mins of quiet before we start our day)".

When we are on the receiving end of yuckies we say, "I don't like being treated this way." And we seek help if we need it.

When we realize we have acted in a way we don't like, we apologize, we ask how we can help make it right and we spend time learning why it went wrong and how we can do better next time.

Then we come back to unity. "This is OUR day. I want it to be a good one! Let's take back our day and make it good!"

  Homeschooling isn't for everyone but I believe the things we are learning are. 

I hope all of you take your day and make it good!
Life is so beautiful when you take charge of you.
So go on and create your paradise.