The truth is, this is not always easy for me. I struggle with perfectionism and self doubt. I have been working on these issues for the last six years but they still come up. Home school really exasperates this in me.
I want a successful marriage, because I'm married to my best friend and I see how much joy I have when we are in line and in a healthy place.
And I want to give my children this amazing foundation for happiness; self esteem, true faith, empowerment, great communication skills, wisdom, confidence, courage, resilience, ect ... any thing they might need to THRIVE in life. I want them to THRIVE.
They need education. It can effect their self esteem, their ability to reason, their ability to communicate intelligently... ect.
I want to give them an amazing education. But this is real life. Right now, my finances are in more of a faith building phase than an abundance phase. My schedule is hectic, and not always on a successful Mon-Fri, August-May schedule. Not too mention my oldest is literally a genius, according to his IQ testing ... and I ... am not.
So can I really do this? Successfully. And fairly for my children and all want to give them to THRIVE.
Here's the amazing thing I found out. If God calls you to something, He will give you what you need to accomplish it, despite how qualified you feel you are!
My finances were not suddenly granted the $500 a child, that it might cost to purchase a year of curriculum ... Yet a first grade teacher friend did provide me with an excellent first grade curriculum for Topher! It actually shows me what to do each day. Phew. That takes a load off. She even gave me a benchmark leveling kit for reading so I can track his progress and ensure he stays at or above expected grade level. How rewarding for a self doubting mom like me!
Then she also got me in touch with a third grade teacher from her school who can help me with Markie's curriculum! I also found that SCHOOL ZONE online has some affordable workbooks to supplement. My little 3rd grade genius can work on 4th, 5th or 6th grade concepts for a challenge and these workbooks are only $3-$15 per book. Thank you Jesus!
I've found the flexibility of home schooling really appealed to me, yet I was constantly feeling guilty if we got off the rigid schedule (which we have, a lot, while adjusting to tour life). So I've decided to do year round home schooling. That way, anytime we lose a week or two (or three) during a crazy period, we will always have other time to make up.
For example, we're off the road right now and it's been very easy to keep up with a home school routine.
The past week or so I have transitioned my kids into their next grade. We are now teaching first and third grade, so that we can start August ahead of "schedule". That can really take some pressure and fear off my shoulders that we may fall behind.
As I've been creating the 2013-2014 curriculum routine, I have felt such a weight off my shoulders. I've found ideas to stimulate my third grader. I actually feel like he's learning again, not just practicing things he already knows. (He learns so fast)
I'm seeing marked improvement in my first grader and following a curriculum he understands and is benefiting from. Right now, we are THRIVING. And I am loving it.
I feel organized, prepared and more confident than ever that this is the right path for us. I see that God
I have critics in my life. People that don't see the good in me, no matter how hard I try. That is so hard to accept. Some of my critics are even people I love. People I so desperately want to love me.
But you see, I can't live for them. God has a Purpose on my life, and I must do what I'm meant to do to live out that purpose. I'm happier when I do. I'm more effective when I do. I want to be used by God, which means that I can't be used by other people. It means God must be my leader, God must be in control and some people do not like losing control over those they love.
So when critics come up in my life, I try to remember that they're perception does not have to be my reality. They're rejection does not have to say anything about me, it may only speak of them and they're struggles. I share this, because some of you readers may have your own critics. And they may not be strangers, they may be people you trusted. So I'm just saying you're not alone. In fact, people misunderstood and criticized Jesus, whom I believe was a perfect man. So if they did that too a perfect man, of course they will do it to an imperfect me, despite if my heart is in the right place.
I'm so honored that God cares and provides for my little home school efforts, in the midst of this great big grand world. I challenge you to look for your own personal ways that God can show you that YOU ARE SIGNIFICANT and that His Plan for you is not small, whether the actions feel so, they are impactful and purposeful, and He is invested in YOU.
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